8 Suggestions for Collaborating in Uncertainty

Here we are, again, back in the place of uncertainty. Or, rather, here we are again, back to a place of understanding the uncertainty of life.

Personally, this is a place that I have consistently come back to in my life. Growing up in an unpredictable environment, moving to different places in my early adulthood, becoming a mom, separating from my coparent, navigating self-employment for more than a decade, struggling with health issues, etc. My life has been filled with an awareness that there’s only so much that is knowable and I’ve learned to live in this awareness with harmony and even creativity.

So in early 2021, when the coronavirus was rocking the world and there was a sense of collective uncertainty, I had a podcast-type conversation with a friend and colleague, Cassandra O’Neill about how we were navigating the times. Cassandra co-wrote a book on collective leadership so I was particularly interested in how she saw groups responding and what she’d recommend for groups moving through and forward. I recently revisited our conversation from four years ago and the insights we surfaced withstand.

I believe they withstand because Cassandra and I have both been on journeys on which we long ago learned and accepted that uncertainty is a given, and it doesn’t have to mean chaos and confusion. Indeed, when the illusion of control is lifted, even temporarily, our awareness may expand, offering fresh perspectives and ushering in exciting adventures.

I don't want to minimize the fact that there are real constraints that people are facing, and some of these constraints may be painful. What I have found is that even in the face of this pain I honor my humanity when I recognize that, even with constraints, I can recognize the choices that I do have. When I have felt enormous constraints in my own life, I have tried to remember Viktor Frankl’s wisdom that it’s when we face circumstances we can't change that we are forced to look at ourselves and think about the things that we can change in ourselves. 

I understand that when we’re caught off guard or otherwise feel stressed, it isn’t necessarily  easy to see what we can indeed change. So in this article I will share seven suggestions, from the personal to the organizational, that I believe stand the test of time. May these suggestions help you find possibilities in our current moment and for years to come. 

One: Develop daily self-connection practices

These practices can look a number of ways, from mindful movement to sitting meditation or creative expression of some kind. The important thing I have found is to take the time to really be with myself, my emotions, my thoughts, to observe what's happening inside. When you feel like you're being pulled 100 directions, it takes intention to actually do this, and my experience is that if I do this, along with the other personal suggestions that follow, I build a foundation that equips me to collaborate meaningfully with others in the midst of the unknown.

Two: Center yourself in your values and commitments

When I know and remind myself of what matters most to me, I have more clarity about who I am and what I’m committed to contributing to in this lifetime. When things around me are shifting and changing, it’s natural to try to orient myself to things outside myself. But because these things are changing, to do so can feel like more than a disruption, it can feel like an identity crisis. When I am clear about my internal sense of purpose, I can continue to return to that. It becomes a way to center and resource myself whenever I feel overwhelmed or confused.

Three: Filter conscientiously

I can stay centered on my own values, without completely blocking out what’s happening around me. I want to be informed, I want to be engaged, and I can practice being conscientious of my relationship to peers, community, media, etc. I can try to make conscious choices and develop intentional habits, which starts with noticing what is impacting me and how (suggestion one). 

Our brains are wired to pay more attention to the negative so we can stay alive in the midst of danger, so it’s natural to be drawn into doom scrolling but it’s so depleting. It can also be tempting to want to shut out ideas or people that make me uncomfortable, but that would limit my growth. Perhaps the most challenging of all the suggestions here is this one, for in my experience it takes willingness and commitment to be compassionate with myself through an ongoing process of discernment and decision making.

Four: Get creative with resources

Sometimes when we’re faced with uncertainty, we seek new information or other resources, to help us move through what we’re facing. Perhaps that’s why you’re reading this article! It takes some intentionality to go beyond what’s easily within reach and put effort into not just seeing if we can acquire more resources but becoming more resourceful with what we already have. 

For example, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, plenty of people and organizations learned how to offer digital goods and virtual services. I think we’re continuing to learn that when we work smarter with what we have, we actually find that more resources become available in unexpected ways. When you pay attention to the things that you do have access to that can be supportive, then you can start to notice more things that can be supportive. 

It’s not easy, by any means. Dominant culture is so steeped in scarcity thinking, even if we're aware of this pattern at some level, we often underestimate how much it is impacting us, including in our collaboration with others. When we adopt what Lynne Twist calls the sufficiency mindset, we unlock new possibilities for us and for those we can work with. 

Instead of two organizations thinking of themselves as competitors, for example, what if they joined together not just for collective impact but for collaborative conversation about co-offerings? It’s much easier when we recognize that, especially because our challenges are shared, we don’t need to figure it all out on our own.

Five: Name shared experiences, both the challenging and the beautiful

Our social norms make it easy for us to take so many things personally. We can think our personal experience is all that’s true, or that we’re the only ones going through what we’re going through. When we name our common human experience, we release ourselves from the weight of separation and loneliness, and we build relationships with one another. It’s a simple thing to do, and yet not necessarily commonly done. Building relationships is key to navigating uncertainty, which I’ll continue to expand upon.

Six: Prioritize group pausing over managerial planning

We’ve been taught and rewarded for organization and clear coordination, but uncertainty calls us to learn to be adaptive and more fluid. I understand many people have a strong need for dependability and consistency, and I think this is partly why the traditional management style is about linear, usually long term planning.

People in management are more effective when they also build and use coaching skills. These skills are not about being a good mentor or teacher, they are about accompanying people in being more self directed, in being able to articulate where they want to go and in building self-efficacy skills to get there. There's patience involved in that, for it means focusing on one thing at a time. This can be a very difficult shift for managers or leaders that naturally feel like they should be able to answer questions (even ones there may not be any answers for) or present a vision (even when the future is very unknowable), as that is what they think their job has been about. 

But when pausing, and listening to the wisdom of the group, is the approach to planning, we invite in new strengths and opportunities and we grow together. When more people are invited and accept the invitation to contribute their own ideas, rather than relying on a single person’s vision or knowledge, it changes everything, because when everything is on table there may be resources we didn’t even know we had.

Seven: Engage in relational learning

If people are not contributing meaningfully to collective dialogue or decision making, this is an opportunity to learn, for everyone. Perhaps there are unfortunate patterns or feedback loops, often driven by false assumptions, that if better understood can be shifted in a game-changing way. Personally, I think we are in a time in which we can change our strategies for getting our needs for reliability met, from patterns that may actually be harmful to ones that are based on coming into more helpful relationships with one another. 

I myself have pendulated, from being someone who feels I should assert my vision or plan to someone who defers to the needs of a group to ensure belonging. Today I am committed to being a leader who demonstrates what it means to live in acceptance, acceptance that there's many unknowns, that we each have our own sense of what we want to contribute, and that it is a joy to be in relationship with one another on this mysterious journey. My commitment to collective wellbeing and growth is why today I facilitate and coach purpose-led teams who want to grow skills and capacity in emotional agility, conflict transformation and collaborative leadership.

Eight: Be available for inspiration

When we’re caught in fixed ways of thinking, which we’re especially prone to when we’re experiencing fear or anxiety, we limit our ability to see the opportunities before us. To free ourselves from narrow perspectives, we can first tend to our wellbeing. When we feel somewhat grounded in our values, we can engage in inquiry to open up our thinking. The appreciative inquiry approach to strategic planning, for example, uses the SOAR method - S for strengths, O for opportunities, A for aspirations, and R for resources (that is the version I prefer). 

We may not be able to reason our way out of problems that were created with the same reasoning that set them into motion. It’s been a decades-long practice for me, but shifting from asking what’s right or wrong, to asking what's present and what's possible can create a completely different orientation and thus open up new avenues for exploration.

Because at the end of the day, uncertainty doesn’t just mean things might go as we don’t want them to, it can also mean things can go better than we planned or imagined. Being available for the unexpected joys takes intention and effort, and I hope these suggestions help you find your own way through the rich possibilities towards the purposes you are committed to fulfilling.

Special thanks to Cassandra O’Neill for contributions to the ideas in this article. The video of our original conversation can be found on my Patreon. 

Lydia Hooper is a hybrid professional who has led 60+ mission-driven organizations through transformational changes over the past dozen years. She offers custom facilitation and coaching for purpose-focused teams who want to build skills and capacity in emotional agility, conflict transformation, and collective leadership. Lydia is the creator of the 40 Day Listening Challenge and the Complex Everyday Conflicts podcast series. You can follow her on LinkedIn and learn more about her at www.lydiahooper.com.